Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Knit Equivalent of the Blue Book

Stupid Realization of the day: I write more without distractions.

And now I present to you the yarn store equivalent of the Blue Book.

"Hello. How can I help you?"

"I'm working on this pattern, the something-or-other shawl. And I want to know when I add the new yarn will it make it longer or wider."

Silence for a moment as I contemplate what on earth this woman is asking.

"What does the pattern say?"

"I don't have the pattern, I left it in North Carolina."

"Would you hold please? Thank you."

I tell my boss what I was just asked and she looks at me as though I were crazy for then asking her. Honestly, I think she might be right but I'm new and there may be some magic I don't know about.

"Thanks for holding. I'm sorry, but you'd really need to bring the shawl and the pattern in for us to be able to tell."

"Well, it looks like it is going to be too small for me and I just wanted to know."

"Different shawls are constructed differently. We'd really need to see it."

"It's page 128 in Laura-something-or-other."

I contemplate the kind of woman who might imagine that at this point I would jump up and search for Laura-something-or-other just so that I could help her in another state when she's left her pattern behind.

"I'm really sorry. We need to see it."

"Well, it's definitely too small for me. Good-bye."

"Different shawls are made differently. It really depends on the pattern."

"Okay. Well. Good-bye."

And I spend the rest of the day trying to imagine a shawl too small to be worn and the degenerate manners of older people.


Aviva said...

why did you call that post the Blue Book?

eatrawfish said...

It mentions the ellusive "blue book". Which, when you are a bookseller, is the book that the customer can't remember the title or the author, but remembers that it was blue...

Aviva said...

LOL, oh ok. see, for us (in law school) Blue Book is the name of this book that has all these incredibly tedious rules for a system of uniform citation.

and at first when i saw your post i thought it'd be about that (and was rather perplexed why you
d be writing about it! :), but then realized it wasn't, but still couldn't figure out what it was.

Aviva said...

p.s. when i was working this summer, i was once told to get this book from the library, and the person couldn't remember what it was called, and they don't really have significant authors, so it was just "it's this soft cover, big purplish-reddish book..."

my response: are you kidding?? (well, couldn't say it, but was definitely thinking that.)

eatrawfish said...

Yeah. I'm amazed at what people expect from you just because you work at a place. I mean, I can be polite, but I can't work Miracles.